Love Languages

I started this post last Sunday, but just now had the opportunity to sit down and finish typing out my thoughts. So without further interruptions/breaks/etc., I'm going to finish this post & publish!
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My love languages: quality time & words of affirmation.
I've known about my love languages for several years now, but for some reason they have been placed back into the foreground of my daily thinking. Especially today. I was sitting in my bedroom contemplating life and all its details, and then suddenly I rediscovered the importance of understanding my own love languages and making sure I also learned the love languages of my loved ones.


Before I go into further detail about my love languages, I will first explain what exactly I am talking about. Some of you may be scratching your head and wondering "what is a love language?", well... Gary Chapman's website, books and/or wikipedia-page are great resources to learn just that, but here's my own summary:


Everyone is different; we all express our love and feel love differently. However, many people do not grasp that idea. People pour out their hearts thinking that everyone should understand and reciprocate their love, but frequently enough, that love isn't returned because the recipient doesn't acknowledge those acts/words/etc. as actions of love. Gary Chapman (a doctor, author and pastor) recognized this pattern and decided to research it. He found 5 key love languages that people use to express their love and feel loved.


The Five Love Languages:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving/Giving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch


Sometimes people share the same love languages, but in some cases they don't...


Until I found out my top love languages, I had some serious relational issues. I couldn't understand why some people made me feel valued and loved, but others made me feel like I had no value at all. Therefore, when I was introduced to the whole love language idea, it was like a blindfold being taken off my eyes. Suddenly everything made sense and I understood that not everyone shared love the same way as I did. This helped me to mend relationships and ultimately make my life a lot easier.


Here are two examples from my past, from before I knew about my love languages:

In my early high school days I had a youth group leader [and only the *best* leader ever ;)] by the name of Ms. Kelli Scanlon. This mighty woman of God would set aside time, usually twice a month, to meet with me for breakfast at Bean Traders (one of our favorite coffee shops). When we met, we mostly talked about family issues or boy issues (aka the current drama in my life), but no matter how many times I vented with Kelli or cried with Kelli, she still wanted to spend time with me. She would smother me with words of encouragement and affirmation, which I so appreciated, but more importantly she continued to invest one-on-one time with me, which spoke volumes. She made me feel valued as a person.
At the same time that Kelli and I were meeting, I was severely struggling at home with my relationship with my mom. My mom would express her love through gifts, which I didn't acknowledge at the time. I was so badly seeking and desiring quality time and words of affirmation from her, but because those weren't her main love languages, I wasn't receiving them to the extent that I needed. Therefore, I felt unloved by her. This caused me to grow very distant and bitter towards my mom. It wasn't until we both acknowledge each others love languages that our relationship started changing for the good. Fast forward several years, my mom and I's relationship is strong. We both make an effort to love each other through our different love languages and it's paid off. I'm now 100 percent sure that she loves me, and therefore, I feel valued by her.


I could go on and on, but this post is already quite lengthly, so I'll wrap it up...
If I can, I would like to challenge you (if you haven't already) to take the love language assessment test and encouraging your friends and family to do the same. The test only takes a matter of minutes and I'm thoroughly convinced that it'll be beneficial to you and your loved ones! Also, I would love to hear your thoughts regarding this subject! Feel free to comment away ;)


Later alligators!
Rach

Reminiscent

If you were to ask me to describe the last few days in one word, I would choose the word "reminiscent." I have flipped through photo boxes & albums, reread journal entries, pulled down old paintings & drawings, reorganized my memory-box, and so much more. Why the sudden urge to ramble through things of the past? I'm not really sure. I think I was secretly trying to rediscover something that would make me laugh or smile, but most of all, discover something that would inspire me. I had been feeling like I wasn't utilizing gifts & talents that I knew I had. For example, it's been years since I've picked up my drawing pad; I think the last time I had used it was back in 2005 or 2006. Now, to set everyone straight, I do not consider myself an artist in the drawing and painting realm; however, I do really enjoy the feeling of charcoal underneath my fingertips and the stroking of a paint brush in my hand. I love watching a blank canvas unfold into a masterpiece (with many mistakes along the way of course...).

Long-story-short, I ended making a mess with my charcoals and 16x24 drawing pad, but I am so glad I did. It doesn't take long for me to realize why I love working with artsy mediums; for me, any art-media has a way for letting me decompress, relax, grow, etc., but even more importantly, it has a way of making me feel closer to my Heavenly Father. I think it boils down to the fact that when I take a break from my mundane schedule and allow myself to unwind and be transparent through art, it's an act of worship. To many people, worship is a congregational activity, but Jesus is quoted in John 4:24 saying "God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." So in my opinion, worship is a heart matter, not a corporate meeting. Worship is an act of praising or rejoicing in God; giving credit and honor to where it is due. Therefore, when my heart is rejoicing because of words being sung from my mouth (in a congregation or not), let it be called worship, but also, if my heart is rejoicing unto the Lord because I am marveling at his beautiful creation, twiddling with drawing utensils or writing a blog post, let it also be called worship. "My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing praises, even with my soul" - Psalms 108:1. "For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised" - Psalms 96:4a.

A Different Adventure

It's been over a year since I've written a blog post here. Many adventures have taken place, but absolutely no documentation has been made (...at least on this blog). Oh my, this is the story of my life; I repeatedly start new journals and blogs, but don't keep up with them. Sigh. Will I ever learn?

The main reason for writing this post is not to tell about a grand vacation pending, but rather to propose that I start blogging about a different kind of adventure. An adventure about everyday life as a Christian and what that walk entails.

I'll start off with saying that my walk hasn't been easy as of late. I have found myself discouraged, lacking in faith and hopeless of God's providence. Why? I really do not know. He has never failed me before. There is really no reason for me to feel distant from Him because I know He never leaves my side. Therefore, a self-check must be in need. And sure enough it is. I, the human, who am so often wrapped up in the things of the world, forget to pursue the only substantial thing that truly satisfies my soul. It is I, Rachel Grace, who hasn't been investing, seeking, and challenging my faith.

...Oh, how many times will I place God on the back burner? How many times will I forget to actively pursue Him? The answers to these questions only God really knows; however, I can say that no matter how many times I fail or I wander off, God won't let me go too far and I am so very thankful for that. And to top it all off, even in the seasons where I am the most desperate and least deserving, God will still be there with me, and he will be actively using the season for His glory and for my better good.

"Having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." - Romans 5:1-5

God really rocks. enough said :)

Well, that's it for today. Thanks for reading!

Your adventurous writer/blogger,

Rachel Grace